Well hello again! Thanks so much for your nice comments on my video update from the other day. It’s kind of weird rambling on to my computer but it was a nice switch up for me so I think I’ll do some more of those.
It feels weird that it’s already Thursday today, especially since it’s been a lazy Thursday on my part. I did some random things around the house this morning and also listed something on Ebay for the first time which took a lot longer than I thought it would. I was looking through my closet the other day as I have a wedding coming up in a few weeks and I realized I have one too many dresses that I likely won’t wear again. You know the drill, you buy a dress, wear it once, and then it sits in your closet because everyone has already seen it, so you go buy a new dress. So I’m trying to purge some of my old dresses. FYI, if you live in London The Cinderella Project collects gently used prom/formal dresses so that other young girls can wear something beautiful on their special day – I always try and donate a few things there too.
Getting ready to compete and step on stage in a teeny tiny bikini can definitely make one self conscious and very body aware. The smallest ‘imperfections’ can make you self-doubt and that’s the last thing you want when you’ve worked so hard. Competitor or not most women would prefer to be without these ‘flaws’ but I’m here to say that I DON’T CARE THAT MY LEGS ARE ‘IMPERFECT”!
I remember the first time I realized I had stretch marks. I was young, maybe grade 7 or 8 and I was getting out of the pool in my backyard. A family friend looked at my legs and said ‘oh my goodness, where did those scratches come from, those can’t be stretch-marks’. After I got out of the pool I went downstairs and googled (yes I have been google savvy for quite some time) stretch marks and to my dismay, that’s what I had. At the time they were a darker, purple-ish colour and I didn’t really know what to think of them. I wound up with more stretch marks come high school when I started to gain weight (go figure) and now have marks on my upper thighs, behind my knees on my upper calves, on my chest and my glutes.
If we’re being completely honest, my stretch marks never really bothered me that much. I’m really lucky that growing up I was raised to be proud of the body I have and didn’t really mind my little lines at the time.
My current stretch marks on my thighs
In university when I began going to the gym in first year I noticed that certain pants I would wear made the back of my legs look a little…off. Ladies, I know you know what I’m talking about. Certain leggings and workout pants in different materials/colours can highlight certain lumps and bumps we might have. I had never really noticed it before but there it was, starring back at me in the mirror.
Ok….so what do we do about this? I once again turned to google and began looking up DIY cellulite treatments, most of which involved massaging the area, drinking lots of water and maintaining an exercise routine. Check, check and check! I massaged, hydrated and continued to exercise and you know what? It actually did help a little but it’s definitely still there. While I have improved the situation it is something that is still present.
So after accepting my stretch marks and cellulite I was feeling pretty damn good about myself and all the progress I’ve made on this fitness journey. Never would I have thought that I would be gearing up for my second bikini competition. Recently however, mainly since shorts weather came about, I’ve noticed something I’ve feared for a long time popping up on my legs.
My new friends
To tell you these bother me would be a severe understatement. I sometimes become so fixated on those purple and blue lines that it’s hard for me to stop looking at them. Then I begin to thoroughly examine my legs for signs of new ones popping up leading to a whole other level of discomfort in my own skin. Ugh.
Spider veins can be caused by a number of different things – weight, circulation, pregnancy, genetics, sun exposure…yadda yadda yadda. Well for me I’m predisposed to them genetically and I also have awful circulation (I have Raynaud’s). While I would love to go and get the suckers removed with lasers or injections I know that chances are I’ll develop more when I want to have kids so I really don’t see the point yet.
So what’s a girl to do? Should I just avoid wearing shorts and skirts so that nobody can see my imperfections?
I’m going to work with what I have, and what I have is pretty damn awesome if you ask me. I have always been a confident individual and I’m not going to let some lines on my legs – which I have NO control over – dictate what I wear or how I feel about my body.
I am blessed to have a body that is capable of amazing things.
Last year I rode 200+ km in 2 days in honour of my dad for cancer research
I also completed tough mudder last summer
I can squat 200lbs
and deadlift 300lbs
Last year when I stepped out on stage no one saw any of these ‘imperfections’ that I notice.
And that’s just it, chances are no one else notices these little things that we obsessive over and get caught up with. Instead of focusing on what I don’t like, I’m going to put a little more time and energy into all the things I love about my legs like how strong, powerful and explosive they are.
It’s so easy to get caught up, picking ourselves apart for all of our perceived flaws instead of putting our efforts into more positive things. Well I’m here to say that I have stretch marks, cellulite and spider veins…